I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
