he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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