We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
