So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
