I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
