How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
