as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
