Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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