my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
