Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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