is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
