ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize