I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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