I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
