News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
