handjob tips. give me some.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
