I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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