I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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