We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
