we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
