Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
