her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
