ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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