Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

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(416): View more from Ontario

No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her

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(530): View more from California

We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?

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(562): View more from California

Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....

(949): View more from California

Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...

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(386): View more from Florida

I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve

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(801): View more from Utah

i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?

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(989): View more from Michigan

I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.

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(310): View more from California

That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering

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