I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm passing your future prison.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
