I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
