i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
