:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
