My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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