clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
