We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
