i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
