I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
