Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
