hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
