is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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