Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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