He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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