Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
