it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
