I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
