So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
only if we run a train.
done.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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