I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
