I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
