WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize
