At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
