If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
