why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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