Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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