even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Iām going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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